Many articles on spicing up a long-term marriage involve bullet-pointed guidance to be imported directly into a hard-working professional’s obscenely long, cloud-based to do list, with specific steps such as “now that the kids are older, have more fun together, take a dance class, adopt a new hobby, or travel more if you can afford it. No doubt, each might be helpful.
Let your partner help you.
I am a lifelong feminist. But that hasn’t stopped me from asking my husband from time to time over the years to offer his opinion, or help me to solve a problem, or let him feel needed in other ways. Quite frankly, there have been times when I’ve asked him to help me with something even when I could have handled it myself. But, I know it makes him feel good.
Explore a new destination together
My spouse are I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this June. We recently bought a second house down south that we plan to use as a retirement home someday. Having a new destination to explore and working on a new house together have been energizing to us in a way making small changes in our lives would not have been
Smile at your partner
Sounds so simple, but I think many of us end up taking their long-term partners for granted in this most basic way. No matter how tired I might be at the end of the day, or how stressed, I’ll still give him a smile and hug, and a quick ‘How was your day?’ It sets the tone and mood for the rest of the evening, and makes him feel good
Find an ritual you both love.
When my husband comes home, technology goes off for at least 30 minutes. We sit and have a glass of wine and talk. It’s grounding and makes us feel connected.