Things to do to make your marriage work

This is a list of marriage rules and reminders—all of which, we hope, are cheaper and more fun than therapy.

No fisticuffs in public

Take this example: We were at a picnic with a group of friends when the wife of one of the couples present casually announced that she had bought their family a house. In another country. Without consulting the husband. He turned about 14 shades of red, and they began fighting at the top of their lungs. Cut to everyone else with their heads down, forensically examining their egg-salad sandwiches as though they contained the secrets of the human genome. You do not want to be That Couple Who Ruined the Otherwise Delightful Picnic.

Accept that everybody needs alone time

Sometimes your spouse needs to go to the bathroom for 45 minutes. Look, he’s not going to the bathroom the whole time; he’s trying to get away from you. And that’s OK. Maybe you’re being annoying. Sometimes you can be kind of annoying, you know.

Let your spouse in on 90 percent of your day-to-day routine

Save the other 10 percent for your bathroom time. Sam, for example, will never allow Jason to see her lurching to put on a pair of panty hose, and he never wishes for her to see him struggling to shave the back of his neck. It’s those small things that keep the mystery alive.

When you buy gifts for each other, give them at least a full minute of thought

Sam’s mother once gave her partner a giant meat grinder for Christmas so that one could make her tastier hamburgers. In our opinion, gifts that require someone to perform a household task don’t count as gifts. A present should convey the message “I love you, but most of all, I get you.” Like playing chess or figuring out Facebook privacy settings, delighting a longtime spouse is a genuine challenge—which is what makes it worth the effort.

Best relationship tips for women

Love isn’t complicated or painful. In fact, it’s effortless. As long as you keep these 23 must-know tips and relationship advice for women in mind.

Play with him

Playfulness is the one thing that holds a happy relationship together more than anything else. Just because you’re past your childhood doesn’t mean you should act all grown up all the time!

Men are easily influenced

By other men around them in their life. If his friends and other guys in the room think you’re a dream catch, he’ll fall more in love and stay more in love with you, and avoid straying away from you.

Listen to his point of view

Before arguing back or cutting across him. It’s the easiest way to prevent tempers from rising. And don’t be condescending either!

You can’t change someone

Who doesn’t want to be changed. Help your man understand you better and help him learn by example. But if doesn’t want to change for you, perhaps, he doesn’t respect you or care enough for you, and you need someone else who can love you for who you are.

Don’t blame yourself

You’re never entirely at fault if the relationship starts to suffer. So don’t blame yourself completely if you’re experiencing a bad relationship. Accept responsibility, but don’t blame yourself unless it really is your fault.

The silent treatment

Ignoring your boyfriend when he hurts you may seem like the best way to teach him a lesson. But truth be told, the silent treatment won’t make him stop hurting you, it’s only make him a better liar!

Best relationship books to read

When compiling this list of the best relationship books of the past decade, some overriding themes were apparent: Men are sex-obsessed cave men. Women are under the mistaken impression that they’re living inside a real-life romantic comedy. But true love and soul mates do exist. It’s been a confusing decade for the sexes, but we’re confident that we’ll figure it all out eventually. Here, a list of the ten most iconic relationship books of the ’00s.

He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

The mother of all relationship books was written by Sex and The City scribes Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Their advice is simple: Men chase what they want—and will continue to pursue who they want—for as long as they want her. If they’re not calling, they obviously don’t want you. Stop pining ladies! There are plenty of men out there willing to throw themselves at your feet. Why Didn’t He Call Back? Find Out Now

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey

On the very first page of comedian Steve Harvey’s self-help tome, he writes, “There is no truer statement: men are simple.” Which is why we should stop overthinking their every email, text message, and casual gesture. Harvey says that while women look to men to satisfy a number of personal needs, men require only three things in return: support, loyalty and sex. Oddly enough, though, Harvey advises ladies to wait three months before bedding a new flame. You read me right. That’s three months, not three dates. 4 Ways Text Messaging Changed Dating

Why Him? Why Her? by Helen Fisher

Anthropologist Helen Fisher swiftly and systematically divides all of us into four distinct categories of lovers: The Explorer, who is a novelty-seeking, creative type; the Builder, who is cautious and conventional; the Director, who is aggressive and single-minded; and the Negotiator, who is an empathetic, idealistic talker. Fisher’s conceit is that we naturally attract and repel others based upon our type. Discover Your “Type” (It Really Exists)

Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov

The provocative title alone has made this best-seller a standout, but the contents are just as audacious. Therein, author Sherry Argov advises women to stop acting desperate, and to start acting as if they are prizes to be won. Men, she says, will believe this, even if you don’t, mesmerized as they are by your sexual power. (And your boobs.) Remember, also, to make the chase a lengthy and interesting one for them. The more you play hard to get, the harder they are to get rid of. Do Men Like “the Chase”?

Top cities to help enrich your relationship

Looking to rekindle the flames with a romantic escape? These destinations are perfect for woo-ing your significant other.

Venice

If Venice didn’t exist it would still probably come to life in some Hollywood screenplay for the imagined backdrop of a romantic feature. Even so, it would most likely not be the fantasy that it is in reality, a fairytale of canals and breathtaking architecture. What can be more romantic than a gondola ride down a canal, or a walk over narrow bridges, getting lost through narrow lanes, and ending up at monumental squares? If you’re not yet in love, you will be.

Vienna

This city seems made for romantic walks, with monumental avenues circling around pedestrian streets. The soundtrack is usually Mozart’s classic sounds, and when your legs finally need some rest there are the horse-drawn carriages. In between, lovers get a sense of what it’s like to live as a king and queen, visiting the regal splendor of the city’s palaces and museums.

Prague

Prague is one of the world’s great romantic wonders, thanks to an immaculately-preserved old town filled with fairytale architecture. Walk hand-in-hand from the castle to the monumental Old Town Square through Charles Bridge, and stand together as you hear the chime of a 600-year old astronomical clock. Then it’s time to lose yourselves in the beauty and romance of this ancient city, through a sea of spires and cobblestones that make this a lovers’ paradise.

Florence

The Renaissance ambience of Florence gives it a romantic storybook atmosphere, especially for lovers and lovers of art. This is a magical setting filled with works by Michelangelo and Botticelli, where you can admire fabulous views from the top of the Duomo or from the famous Piazzale Michelangelo. End with a kiss on the legendary Vecchio Bridge after a candlelit dinner of fine Italian cuisine and wine.

Top love quotations to inspire

What is love? What makes it so incredibly beautiful, yet so devastatingly painful? Is love a mysterious, unquantifiable force, or the predictable, measurable effects of complex chemical interactions in our brain? Is there a “formula” for capturing love, or is it merely a role of the dice? Do we each have one true soulmate, or are we drawn to those we love through circumstance and chance?

Perhaps the most well-regarded definition of love is that true love as we know it involves 3 major elements – intimacy, passion, and commitment. Is this true? That’s ultimately up to you to decide.

Here are some inspirational love quotes that delve into the only way love can be truly experienced and by loving and being loved.

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

– Mother Teresa

Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.

– Oprah Winfrey

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

– Marilyn Monroe

Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

– Miss Piggy

Sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments.

– Halle Berry

We love the things we love for what they are.

– Robert Frost

Better to have lost and loved than never to have loved at all.

– Hemingway

It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

– Marilyn Monroe

Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.

– Wizard of Oz

It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it.

– Tom Hanks, Sleepless In Seattle

Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

– Ali MacGraw, Love Story

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

– Martin Luther King Jr.

To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return.

– Madonna

Things to do to live up your relationship

Many articles on spicing up a long-term marriage involve bullet-pointed guidance to be imported directly into a hard-working professional’s obscenely long, cloud-based to do list, with specific steps such as “now that the kids are older, have more fun together, take a dance class, adopt a new hobby, or travel more if you can afford it. No doubt, each might be helpful.

Let your partner help you.

I am a lifelong feminist. But that hasn’t stopped me from asking my husband from time to time over the years to offer his opinion, or help me to solve a problem, or let him feel needed in other ways. Quite frankly, there have been times when I’ve asked him to help me with something even when I could have handled it myself. But, I know it makes him feel good.

Explore a new destination together

My spouse are I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this June. We recently bought a second house down south that we plan to use as a retirement home someday. Having a new destination to explore and working on a new house together have been energizing to us in a way making small changes in our lives would not have been

Smile at your partner

Sounds so simple, but I think many of us end up taking their long-term partners for granted in this most basic way. No matter how tired I might be at the end of the day, or how stressed, I’ll still give him a smile and hug, and a quick ‘How was your day?’ It sets the tone and mood for the rest of the evening, and makes him feel good

Find an ritual you both love.

When my husband comes home, technology goes off for at least 30 minutes. We sit and have a glass of wine and talk. It’s grounding and makes us feel connected.

Top things that can brighten your partner’s day

To help you show your sweetie that he or she is still the one for you, here are ways to bring a smile to their face today.

Write a Love Note

Tell your sweetie how much you love them in a quick note that you put in their lunch, briefcase, or bag. If you prefer the tech route, tweet the love note in 140 characters or less for all your followers to see.

Make a Special Playlist

A special playlist doesn’t have the same appeal as a tangible mix tape, but the sentiment is still there. Steal your partner’s iPod and upload a few songs that let him or her how you feel.

Give a Compliment on a Physical Attribute

Guys are notorious for never noticing that their partner got their hair did. Make up for it by letting your partner know how great they look in a new outfit or that their diet/exercise routine is working well.

Pick Up the Phone to Say “I Love You”

Do you talk on the phone anymore? I don’t. I prefer texting. Which is why sometimes it’s nice — nostalgic even — to pick up the phone and call your lover just to say that you love ’em.

Leave Your Partner Alone for a Few Hours

I love spending time with my husband, but sometimes I just need a few hours to myself. Give your partner the space they deserve by exiting the house on a Saturday or Sunday so you honey can relax however they want to.

Best ways for fall in love

Experts says that there are many different ways to fall in love.

The romantic

You love being in love. You may be swept away by your new lover’s looks or other appealing physical attributes—and disappointed when they change over time. Remember that true love doesn’t recede with his hairline, and romance doesn’t have to fade as the relationship matures. Plan dates, weekend getaways, or just-the-two-of-you vacations to rekindle the spark that ignited your relationship.

The list-maker

You have criteria that are important, and you won’t change them. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, you may put too much pressure on your partner to live up to your standards. Let go of the list. Schwartz warns that clinging to those must-haves could mean a chafed relationship or a lonely life. Ultimately, the important things are companionship, love, a capacity for forgiveness.

The obsessive

You want to spend all your time with your partner. And you constantly worry about your relationship, even when you’ve been together for years. This kind of partner can be overbearing or have highs and lows that drive her significant other crazy. Don’t crowd your lover. Realize that too much of a good thing can be too much.

The giver

You may give more than you get. At some point, you find that it’s all going one way. You’re constantly working selflessly to meet your partner’s needs, but you’re not looking after you. t’s important to have a life outside of your marriage. Develop your own interests, cultivate your own friendships, and reserve time to do things you like to do—without your partner.

The pal

Love seems to creep up on you. One day you think, Wow, I’ve really been spending a lot of time with Jack, then realize you’re in love. In the long term, your relationship may be quiet, but it’s strong. Don’t let your thing get too platonic. “You need moments of romance.

Ways to maintain long distance relationship

Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are the 18 tips to make your long distance relationship work.

Avoid excessive communication

It is unwise to be overly sticky and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of loving. Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

See it as a opportunity

View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

Set some ground rules to manage your expectations

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

Stay positive

You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

Ways to organize your family life

Once kids enter the picture, family life gets chaotic quickly. Juggling their schedules, figuring out chores, and getting help from other parents can all make things easier, especially if you use the technology already at your disposal.

Set Up Routines for Nights

Controlling chaos starts the night before. You should set up a nightly routine for your child, so they get the sleep they need, are prepped for morning, and avoid delays to the rest of the day’s schedule. Make a nightly checklist for yourself and for the child which also sets you up for the next morning.

Incentivize Evening Chores and Control Gadget Time

Tying a task to a reward is the oldest trick in the book. Apps like My Job Chart and Choremonster allow you to make chore lists and assign points for completing each task. The points can be redeemed for a reward (which can even include Amazon links you authorize). The kids can then spend these points on any reward of their choice, and even share some with charities. My Job Chart is a webapp with apps for iOS and Android, while Choremonster is a webapp with apps for iOS and Windows Phone.

Rely On Other Parents

Every parent learns very quickly that they need the help of other parents if they are going to get through raising a child. Start or join a parenting co-op. Apart from sharing information and meeting new people, you can even save money on babysitting by taking turns with each other’s kids. You could use a spreadsheet to keep track of the hours people have been babysitting so it’s a fair exchange, but let’s face it, it can’t work that way. Taking care of each other’s kids is a matter of trust, so let the tech take a backseat.

Get a Complete Picture of Family Activities

There are some applications used to do some of the organizational tasks listed above. For example, it imports Google Calendar entries, has its own to-do list and grocery list, and a journal to capture and share family moments. While it has the main features, it doesn’t always have the small nuances that make other apps worth it. For example, there isn’t a reward system to tie to chores or any parental controls.